"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know."
These lyrics from Lauren Daigle's song, "You say" is incredibly powerful and is sweeping radio stations all over the United States.
As a business owner (and musician, writer, and creative person, and. . . um. . .super sensitive?) this song has hit my core.
Why are the voices in my head so harsh and cruel?
I never feel like I'm doing enough.
That I am good enough.
That I'll ever measure up.
I honestly add up my successes and all I see (more often than not) is my short-comings. Where I lack. Where I'm stuck.
I'll tell you something super painful and real. We thought we were 5 students away from hitting the 600 student mark at our music school.
And then we found an accounting error.
Chutes and Ladders. Back down to 550 students. Because a stupid spreadsheet was wrong.
It hit me hard.
Guess what?? We are so full that it is basically mathematically impossible to hit 600 now. We only have 30 primetime slots open.
But instead of being HAPPY about how full we are. . .yep, you guessed it. I was so upset that we won't hit the magical 600 number. I was bummed. I was feeling pretty depressed.
And then I gave my own shoulders the proverbial little shake.
"JEN! Your business is so full that more students can hardly sign up. That is a GOOD THING." Reframe!
I don't know why my inner critic is so harsh.
Maybe it's just how I'm wired (Ahem, Enneagram 1). Or, maybe you hear it too?
Maybe as leaders, achievers, dreamers, do-ers. . .we just have high standards for ourselves?
Maybe you can't relate.
Maybe you can.
But if my story helps *one* person, it will be worth sharing.
I'm still sad that I can't say "we have 600 students." But I can proudly say that we have 550 and that they LOVE their music teachers. And that our front desk staff ROCKS and has my back and is passionate about our mission. I can focus on the GOOD.
And, as Lauren Daigle says,
"Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory,
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me. . .
I hope you believe in yourself, too.
Focus, Strategy, Support
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Being a leader is isolating sometimes.
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I'm praying you will.
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About the Author
Hi, I'm Jen Hickle!